Life Lessons We Learned While on a Roadtrip
Life Less
on #1: Adult Males who enjoy riding Big Bad Screaming Hogs, should not, under any circumstance, no matter what the outside temperature, wear Shorty-Shorts!
Life Lesson #2: Overweight women (not referring to the garden variety plumpstresses, but the 280-300 pound varieties) should never, ever try to force "The Girls" into a form fitting, fringed, black leather vest. Furthermore, said Road Warrior Fashion Divas, by polite social rules, should not be allowed to perch themselves on the back of any type of motorcycle.
Life Lesson #3: When planning your motorcycle roadtrip vacation, consider your itinerary carefuly and pack only those things that are essential (ie: clean underwear, fresh T-Shirt, extra socks, rain gear, etc). If your packing list includes, golf putter, fishing pole, sleeping bag, tent and mountain bike, it is probably not a good idea to load it all on your MOTORCYCLE! I don't think welding a bike rack to your motorcycle frame is included in the warranty.
Life Lesson #4: Lane Splitting IS legal in some states and applies to motorcycles ONLY! This law does not apply to big Dodge Ram Diesel pickups, pulling a 30 foot travel trailer, 2 4x4 ATVs and 3 canoes! Come on folks, the word "vacation" does not translate into "hitch up, throw a rope around and tie down every BIG BOY TOY you have acquired in the last 20 years of your life". If you can't leave home without it - stay home!
Life Lesson #5: Just because a person can afford the biggest, baddest, hottest motorcycle on the market, does not mean that person should RIDE the biggest, baddest, hottest motorcycle money can buy. If a person has to throw a few extra dollars to color match and chrome out TRAINING WHEELS for his Cruiser, he/she obviously does not have the mental or physical fortitude to drive/ride a Cruiser. Make the world a safer place and buy a Volkswagen!
Life Lesson #6: Bears, Wolves, Elk and Buffalo are NOT the most dangerous animals in Yellowstone. The most dangerous animals in the park are HUMANS! For some reason, there is a select group of people who insist on bathing in STUPID JUICE and cause everyone else trouble.
For instance:
a. When you are standing on the sidewalk and the sign in front of you says "DANGER- Thermal activity beyond this point-closed to all foot traffic" you should not step over the sign and meander out into the Thermal Area for your Bio-Break!
b. If you plan on visiting Yellowstone and want to take "National Geographic" quality wildlife pictures, invest in a camera that costs more than $19.95! If your camera is the size of a credit card with zero zoom and poor resolution, it doesn't give you free access to push your way through the line of spectators to get "up close and personal" with the wild animals. These people should stay home and spend their vacation dollars on a nice, well illustrated wildlife book.
c. If a person HAS invested in a nice camera in order to get great wildlife pictures, DO NOT hand said camera to the 4 year old kid, expecting the child to get "up close and personal" with the wild animals. In this situation, it is OK to remove the child from the situation and thump Dad on the head with a rock!
Life Lesson #7: A Garmin GPS is an invaluable tool to help a driver navigate through traffic, unfamiliar areas and huge cities, but when you put in a destination, asking for the quickest route, and a large mountain is looming up between you and home....one should consider if the recommended route (quickest, shortest and most scenic) is the SANEST route to take. In other words, 47 miles of dirt road is not as QUICK as 80 miles of pavement!
Life Lesson #8: While on vacation, even a rainy day is a great day! If it weren't for the rain, you would never have rainbows.
on #1: Adult Males who enjoy riding Big Bad Screaming Hogs, should not, under any circumstance, no matter what the outside temperature, wear Shorty-Shorts!
Life Lesson #2: Overweight women (not referring to the garden variety plumpstresses, but the 280-300 pound varieties) should never, ever try to force "The Girls" into a form fitting, fringed, black leather vest. Furthermore, said Road Warrior Fashion Divas, by polite social rules, should not be allowed to perch themselves on the back of any type of motorcycle.
Life Lesson #3: When planning your motorcycle roadtrip vacation, consider your itinerary carefuly and pack only those things that are essential (ie: clean underwear, fresh T-Shirt, extra socks, rain gear, etc). If your packing list includes, golf putter, fishing pole, sleeping bag, tent and mountain bike, it is probably not a good idea to load it all on your MOTORCYCLE! I don't think welding a bike rack to your motorcycle frame is included in the warranty.
Life Lesson #4: Lane Splitting IS legal in some states and applies to motorcycles ONLY! This law does not apply to big Dodge Ram Diesel pickups, pulling a 30 foot travel trailer, 2 4x4 ATVs and 3 canoes! Come on folks, the word "vacation" does not translate into "hitch up, throw a rope around and tie down every BIG BOY TOY you have acquired in the last 20 years of your life". If you can't leave home without it - stay home!
Life Lesson #5: Just because a person can afford the biggest, baddest, hottest motorcycle on the market, does not mean that person should RIDE the biggest, baddest, hottest motorcycle money can buy. If a person has to throw a few extra dollars to color match and chrome out TRAINING WHEELS for his Cruiser, he/she obviously does not have the mental or physical fortitude to drive/ride a Cruiser. Make the world a safer place and buy a Volkswagen!
Life Lesson #6: Bears, Wolves, Elk and Buffalo are NOT the most dangerous animals in Yellowstone. The most dangerous animals in the park are HUMANS! For some reason, there is a select group of people who insist on bathing in STUPID JUICE and cause everyone else trouble.
For instance:
a. When you are standing on the sidewalk and the sign in front of you says "DANGER- Thermal activity beyond this point-closed to all foot traffic" you should not step over the sign and meander out into the Thermal Area for your Bio-Break!
b. If you plan on visiting Yellowstone and want to take "National Geographic" quality wildlife pictures, invest in a camera that costs more than $19.95! If your camera is the size of a credit card with zero zoom and poor resolution, it doesn't give you free access to push your way through the line of spectators to get "up close and personal" with the wild animals. These people should stay home and spend their vacation dollars on a nice, well illustrated wildlife book.
c. If a person HAS invested in a nice camera in order to get great wildlife pictures, DO NOT hand said camera to the 4 year old kid, expecting the child to get "up close and personal" with the wild animals. In this situation, it is OK to remove the child from the situation and thump Dad on the head with a rock!
Life Lesson #7: A Garmin GPS is an invaluable tool to help a driver navigate through traffic, unfamiliar areas and huge cities, but when you put in a destination, asking for the quickest route, and a large mountain is looming up between you and home....one should consider if the recommended route (quickest, shortest and most scenic) is the SANEST route to take. In other words, 47 miles of dirt road is not as QUICK as 80 miles of pavement!
Life Lesson #8: While on vacation, even a rainy day is a great day! If it weren't for the rain, you would never have rainbows.
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