Life Lessons We Learned While on a Roadtrip

Life Lesson #1: Adult Males who enjoy riding Big Bad Screaming Hogs, should not, under any circumstance, no matter what the outside temperature, wear Shorty-Shorts!

Life Lesson #2: Overweight women (not referring to the garden variety plumpstresses, but the 280-300 pound varieties) should never, ever try to force "The Girls" into a form fitting, fringed, black leather vest. Furthermore, said Road Warrior Fashion Divas, by polite social rules, should not be allowed to perch themselves on the back of any type of motorcycle.

Life Lesson #3: When planning your motorcycle roadtrip vacation, consider your itinerary carefuly and pack only those things that are essential (ie: clean underwear, fresh T-Shirt, extra socks, rain gear, etc). If your packing list includes, golf putter, fishing pole, sleeping bag, tent and mountain bike, it is probably not a good idea to load it all on your MOTORCYCLE! I don't think welding a bike rack to your motorcycle frame is included in the warranty.

Life Lesson #4: Lane Splitting IS legal in some states and applies to motorcycles ONLY! This law does not apply to big Dodge Ram Diesel pickups, pulling a 30 foot travel trailer, 2 4x4 ATVs and 3 canoes! Come on folks, the word "vacation" does not translate into "hitch up, throw a rope around and tie down every BIG BOY TOY you have acquired in the last 20 years of your life". If you can't leave home without it - stay home!

Life Lesson #5: Just because a person can afford the biggest, baddest, hottest motorcycle on the market, does not mean that person should RIDE the biggest, baddest, hottest motorcycle money can buy. If a person has to throw a few extra dollars to color match and chrome out TRAINING WHEELS for his Cruiser, he/she obviously does not have the mental or physical fortitude to drive/ride a Cruiser. Make the world a safer place and buy a Volkswagen!



Life Lesson #6: Bears, Wolves, Elk and Buffalo are NOT the most dangerous animals in Yellowstone. The most dangerous animals in the park are HUMANS! For some reason, there is a select group of people who insist on bathing in STUPID JUICE and cause everyone else trouble.


For instance:
a. When you are standing on the sidewalk and the sign in front of you says "DANGER- Thermal activity beyond this point-closed to all foot traffic" you should not step over the sign and meander out into the Thermal Area for your Bio-Break!
b. If you plan on visiting Yellowstone and want to take "National Geographic" quality wildlife pictures, invest in a camera that costs more than $19.95! If your camera is the size of a credit card with zero zoom and poor resolution, it doesn't give you free access to push your way through the line of spectators to get "up close and personal" with the wild animals. These people should stay home and spend their vacation dollars on a nice, well illustrated wildlife book.
c. If a person HAS invested in a nice camera in order to get great wildlife pictures, DO NOT hand said camera to the 4 year old kid, expecting the child to get "up close and personal" with the wild animals. In this situation, it is OK to remove the child from the situation and thump Dad on the head with a rock!

Life Lesson #7: A Garmin GPS is an invaluable tool to help a driver navigate through traffic, unfamiliar areas and huge cities, but when you put in a destination, asking for the quickest route, and a large mountain is looming up between you and home....one should consider if the recommended route (quickest, shortest and most scenic) is the SANEST route to take. In other words, 47 miles of dirt road is not as QUICK as 80 miles of pavement!

Life Lesson #8: While on vacation, even a rainy day is a great day! If it weren't for the rain, you would never have rainbows.

Day 8 - Last Day in Montana (and we have mud pots!)

After a good dinner and a good night's sleep, we were both ready to get on the road again. We left around 10:00 and went straight to West Yellowstone then back into the park. Our first stop was in the Geyser Basin at the Fountain Mud Pots. These Mud Pots aren't much to look at but they sure put on a good sound show. With the extra rain during the week, most of the Mud Pots were quite "noisy" and sputtered and spouted mud everywhere. Don't ask me why I like these , but I sure do!

After viewing a few mud pots and geysers, we turned toward Fishing Bridge, past Mary Bay and towards the East Gate of Yellowstone. There was very little traffic in this direction. We were surrounded by Buffalo as we passed the bridge. They were walking up the road, laying on the side and running through the trees and if one decided to cross the road, the whole herd would follow. We saw lots of calves with this herd.
We stopped for a rest at Sylvan Pass because Keith was convinced there were Big Horn Sheep on the mountain. We didn't see them at the first stop, but a mile down the road when we stopped again, there they were. Seven ewes at the top of the mountain, out in the sun and walking toward the summit. We had to use the spotting scope to watch them. It was great to see them!
We made our way back to the Fishing Bridge and stopped for an early dinner. We then headed back to Tower, hoping to see some more wildlife in the late afternoon. We got as far as Hayden Valley when we stopped to ask what everyone was looking at and we heard "wolves". We pulled the truck in and didn't have to go any further. We spent the next several hours watching and waiting for the 5 wolves to show themselves. We found out later, that these wolves are considered a group rather than a pack, because they have not yet made a den or raised pups. They relocated themselves in the Hayden Valley after being pushed out by a larger pack of wolves in Mammoth. After climbing to the top of a hill and setting up the spotting scope, we were rewarded with a great view.
After sunset, we headed back to Big Sky and to pack up for home. We had the best time in Montana. So much to see and so much to do!!

Critter Count: Big Horn Sheep, Buffalo, Elk, Wolves

(This picture was taken 10-2008, of the same pack near Mammoth and given to us by a friend. Thanks, Kim!)

Day 7 - Montana Roadtrip

The sun is out, but we both are suffering from "vacation hangover". I guess that means we're having a great time! After a slow start to the day, we hopped in the truck and set out to find Wade and Cliff Lakes.
After traveling past Hebgen Lake and Quake Lake, we turned onto a dirt road marked "Antelope Basin". Well, if nothing else, it sounded promising. We did see lots of Antelope but Keith decided we were heading the wrong direction if we were to find Wade Lake, so back to the highway. We headed back to Ennis and with the help of the GPS (see I told you I love to travel with this thing), we found some smaller unmarked lakes.
We followed the dirt road, crossed "Three Dollar Bridge" and finally found Wade Lake. After looking around for awhile, we went back to find Cliff Lake, then back to the highway, heading back to Ennis.
We stopped in Ennis for lunch at "The Sportsman Lodge". Our waitress had grown up in Ennis, so she could answer all our questions. After lunch, we headed back over Ennis Pass to Belgrade then down Highway 191, along the Gallitan River to Big Sky. It was a slow, lazy day. We enjoyed watching the canyon and the river and the hospitality of Ennis.

Critter Count: Antelope, Buzzard, White Tail Deer

Day 6 - Montana Roadtrip

With nothing but sunshine in the forecast, Keith unloaded the bike and we headed north along the Gallitan River to Bozeman then on to Gardiner and the North Gate of Yellowstone. We stopped at Mammoth Lodge for lunch (can we all say $10 hamburger? Fries, drink, napkins extra!) and then off towards Tower, Canyon and West Yellowstone.
It was a great ride, not too much traffic and lots of animals out and about. We pulled over for a break around Cascade Falls and a Harley pulled in behind us. The driver got off the bike, lit up his cigarette and struck up a conversation. "Did you see that buffalo on the road? He tried to get me and when I revved up the engine, it just made him mad!" Yup, we saw him too, and that's why you use a Dodge Ram pickup as a shield.

The tourist traffic in the park was quite a bit less today, so it made it nice when we wanted to pull over and look at the river or the mountains - you didn't have 100 people asking "What are you looking at?". Everything just seemed to move at a slower pace and it was enjoyable to hear the sounds and breathe in the smells of the park.
We were heading towards the West Gate and found the large herd of Elk by the river again. The same cow and twin calves were attempting to swim across the river and #2 was still as awkward as before. This time though, we saw some young bulls resting under the trees.
We pulled in to watch the Elk and the "Crazy Tourists". "Stay on the bike, this could get ugly" is the last thing Keith said as he got off the bike to grab his camera. Keith with the camera, me with the binoculars, watching the spike Elk, 6 cows, 4 calves and more fools than you could shake a "Stupid Stick" at. One lady had to push her luck with trying to get too close and had the young bull jump up and turn towards her. Time to leave before we had to pick up the pieces!
We stopped in West Yellowstone, picked up some groceries and headed towards home. What a great ride!

Critter Count: Elk, Buffalo, Geese, Ducks

Day 5 - Montana Roadtrip

Another beautiful day in Big Sky. It took awhile to decide which way or what mode of transportation we would be using (bike or truck). After a few "what if's" we chose the truck and back to Yellowstone then South to the Grand Tetons.
We enjoyed our quick trip through Yellowstone and out the South Gate and then we hit the dreaded road construction, known in Montana as "pavement preservation". I figure if you travel 30 miles on a mud slick, pot holed, rocky patch of mountain pass, it cannot be considered "pavement". Afterall, don't you first need to HAVE pavement in order to PRESERVE pavement? Anyway, in this version of "mud bogging" we got to meet "Mary, the Flagger" and her co-worker "Mr. Giggles" who looked like a member of ZZ Top rather than a construction worker. He also thought it was hilarious when a Mercedes or Audi had to go slip-sliding past his section of road work. He did tell us, however, that the cheapest gas was in Colter Bay - a whole .32 cheaper than everywhere else (that made it $2.64 for regular)!
When we finally broke through to actual paved highway, we were excited to see a moose feeding in the river! People were pulling off the side of the road, pulling out binoculars and spotting scopes to watch her. By the way she was acting, we all assumed she had a calf near by. So exciting to see her!

We arrived at Moose, Wyoming and turned into the Tetons National Park entrance. We wanted to pick up a map so we took a break and went into the new Visitor's Center. A ranger told us about a dirt road we could take, virtually no traffic, and a great opportunity to view some wildlife. Hey, that's why we brought the truck! He highlighted the road, told us where the 5 wolf packs were known to be and off we went!
The dirt road was in great shape and it followed close to the Snake River. We watched antelope in the meadows and lots of geese and ducks along the river. We stopped in one area and while Keith was scoping the trees, we heard howling (Keith says coyote, I say wolf). It was pretty eerie but exciting to hear!
We continued along the dirt road and eventually joined back into the main highway through the Tetons National Park. Traveled along past Jackson Lake then back into "Pavement Preservation Hell"!
As we waited for the third of six stops, we checked the GPS to see if there was a detour around this madness. Well, lookie here- a route that cuts along the south border of Yellowstone! This is probably a good place to say "GPS units LIE"!! Yes, we saw some fantastic mountain country. Yes, we passed some great streams and lakes (Tillery Lake was beautiful). Yes, it was fewer miles, but it added about 2 hours to our return trip to Big Sky! We got home about 11:30 p.m., tired, hungry but certainly happy with all we got to see and do during the day!

Critter Count: Moose, Elk with calves, Geese, Ducks, Osprey, Pelican, Antelope

Day 4 - Montana Roadtrip (and still no mudpots)

(Music in the background) "What a day for a bike ride....." Wow, when you see the turquoise blue sky and the spectacular mountain peaks around Big Sky, there is no way you can stay inside. Wahoo!!! Last night, Keith had the maps out and decided it was time to hit the open road and see the area around Ennis.

After a hearty breakfast, we left the

condo around 10:00 a.m and made our way North on Highway 191 to 84, then South to Ennis. We then turned towards Virginia City where we walked the streets of the old historic town. Keith remembers visiting this town as a kid and going to a melodrama in the Town Theatre, hearing all about Sheriff Plummer and his Road Agents and having fun poking around the old shops.
We took a private tour of the old Episcopal Church with Father Todd. Afterwards, we took the bike and went up the dirt road to Boot Hill, where the Road Agents were buried and looked out over the valley and surrounding mountains. We could hear the Narrow Gauge train rolling into town.

After we left Virginia City, we rode back to Ennis and pulled over at the City Park for lunch by the Madison River. We watched 3 little boys wade out into a fishing pond and catch "Craw-thingies" and listen to their moms fret over muddy feet, dirty socks and soggy shoes.
From Ennis we traveled through the Madison River Valley and found the Fishing Lodge that Keith and his family visited while fishing the Madison River and Wade Lake and canoeing on Quake Lake. The fishing lodge is now a private club for Fly fishermen, but the old cabins are still there.

On our way we passed great places like "Greek Creek", "Storm Castle Mountain", and "Gooch Hill". We were interested in eating places like "The Gourmet Gas Station", "Buffalo Bump Pizza" and the "Half Moon Saloon". And who could pass by "Blazing-Paddles" for a river trip?
After passing Hebgen Lake, we turned back towards West Yellowstone for fuel and since it was early we went back into Yellowstone. We saw a bald eagle fishing the Yellowstone River and cow Elk with their calves all along the river. Had to laugh when a cow Elk took her twin calves for a swim - the first calf did just as mom had done, but the second calf was all legs and splashing water.

We took Firehole Road and drove past Firehole Falls then on to Firehole Lake Drive and watched the geysers erupt. We talked to a retired gentleman who now works for the park as a "Geyser Watcher" and logs statistics about the various geysers throughout the park. Gee, maybe when Keith retires, he can be "Geyser Geezer" too!

What an absolutely perfect day!!

Critter Count: Short Eared Owl, Hawks, Antelope, Bald Eagle, Elk and a suicidal mouse that Keith was able to maneuver around to miss!

Day 3 - Montana Roadtrip

It rained all night, so this morning was on the chilly side and heavy clouds hung on the mountains. The sun popped out about 10:00 a.m. and so did we!
Today, we headed back into West Yellowstone and into Yellowstone National Park. We were just a few miles into the park when the "Buffalo Ahead" sign started blinking, cars jamming on the breaks and crazy tourists were jumping out of their cars to take pictures of the Buffalo!
It has been 5 years since our last visit and it did feel good coming back to this unbelievable, ever changing park. We stopped in all the wide spots so Keith could scope out the mountains and the valleys for animals. We tried to stop at the Old Faithful Lodge and geyser but there were so many people there, we couldn't find a parking spot, so off we went. A park ranger said it has been their busiest season in the history of the park - 973,000 visitors in July - and I think they were still all at Old Faithful!
We were driving toward Hayden Valley and traffic was at a stop. There had to be at least 150 cars lined up trying to get through a section of the valley with 200 buffalo lounging in the road, on the hillsides and on the river bank. Park Rangers were at each end of the "Buffalo Blockade" trying to move buffalo and herd people out of the road. With a wide spot in view, Keith pulled the truck in and we pulled out the cooler and had lunch, watching the whole "rodeo" unfold. An hour later, the buffalo got bored and moved off, the people got back in their cars and we wrapped up lunch!

Critter Count: Coyote, Deer, Geese, Buffalo, Great Blue Heron, Sand Hill Cranes, Elk

Day 2 - Montana Roadtrip

After breakfast and a thorough check of the truck and trailer, we "tried" to leave Idaho Falls. When I say "tried" it was because we asked the GPS (which I love traveling with) to find us the closest gas station. After a 20 minute detour through industrial warehouses and a residential neighborhood, the GPS announces "destination on the right". It was actually a baseball field and no gas station in sight! Well, that was fun (but we did see some great old homes and beautiful flower gardens)! So we backtracked to the freeway, found another exit with a "fuel" sign and rolled in using whatever fumes were left in the tank.
We traveled through Targhee National Forest on our way north. Beautiful forests and incredible mountains all along the way. The picture of the deer at the top are some of the many we saw. Make note that they're hiding behind a "no hunting" sign!
We continued through the Gallatin National Forest, Ashton, and West Yellowstone. We followed the Gallatin River to Big Sky, Montana. The river valley offered incredible views at every turn! Steep mountains, sheer cliffs, thick pine forests and one of the most beautiful rivers we have ever seen. The Gallitan River is known for world class fly fishing opportunities. Now I know why we have a fishing pole and tackle box in the "Vice Trailer"!
We arrived in Big Sky under some cloud cover, but it was still an opportunity to off-load the bike and head out for a ride.

Critter Count: Ducks, Hawks, Osprey, Pelican, Swans, Deer

Finally - a Vacation!!

Well, the day has finally arrived for our get-away roadtrip to Montana. August 22nd (one day after our 33rd Wedding Anniversary) we loaded up the truck, the bike trailer (from here on it will be known as the Vice Trailer), cameras, scopes, binoculars, golf clubs, fishing pole, and a few clothes, to head North!
We left Price at 10:00 am, just as planned but with all the construction and a huge traffic jam on I-15, we arrived in Idaho Falls at 4:30 pm. We checked into the hotel and walked to O'Bradys Diner for dinner. Fun little place and THE best steaks and Idaho Baked Potatoes we've had in a long time.
After dinner, Keith checked the "Vice Trailer", secured it for the night and we called it a day.